How I feel today

I'm so tired and I really don't feel up to doing anything at all.

I didn't even want to post this picture let alone actually say anything.

I don't even know why anyone would read my blog. Why would you? If you find anything interesting or weird or whatever just let me know I'm very curious.  

I want to say more but I don't really know what to say. Should I just type and let it flow from there? Well, I guess I usually do that anyways lol. 

I have a huge pile of laundry I need to take care of.  I've been so horrible and put it off for a few weeks or so. Yes, I know "shame!" To be 100% honest I really couldn't bring myself to care. Hey! At least I got pretty much all of it washed I only have 3 more loads and then fold it all. The part I loath with a fires of a thousand evils don't like is to put it all away. 

That actually made me scared as soon as I realized that I didn't care. On top of that I had a panic attack in the middle of the grocery store and I can't do that especially when I'm shopping with the girls. So, I made a doctors appointment.

When I was younger I was diagnosed with depression and severe anxiety and was put on meds to help with that. My mom made me not go back to that doctor and made stop taking them though, because she didn't think I had problems even when I knew I needed it and because I was underage at the time I couldn't disobey. When I hit 'adulthood' I just kept putting it off and putting it off until 9 years after my last appointment with her I'm going back.

I loved this doctor. She would actually sit and listen to me. Talk to me. Not just go with my mom said. I'm so happy she accepted me back as a patient.

Now here's a great idea to deal with problems as well as get a little giggle.

Chilling at the Park

So I'm blogging from the park. I really don't know what I want to actually say to be honest. However, I do know that the smell of one of Bryan's friends' cigarette smoke is disgusting. But I got some cute pictures of the girls and one I kinda like of myself lol.

From the Forth of July and with Cousins Never Met Until Now

Wow, that is a long title sorry!

Hey guys sorry this is late I was working on my parents' yard sale and I just haven't had a chance to sit down and type this out and here it 11:06pm I dtill have time left before I lable myself as a lost cause.

Anyway,  my husband Bryan's sister and her family came into town the beginning of July and we had a ton of fun. However, I will not put up all of the pictures I took for their privacy.

The girls have never met their cousins because they have lived in England for the past five years for her husband's work. But they moved back to the states and came up for a visit.

Also, I'll post a couple pictures I took in the car while waiting for Bryan to get out of work of Lily and me.

I'm Back and Hopefully Ready

After a break I desperately needed I'm back. FINALLY!

I had some drama go down and I needed to spend time with myself and my little family. As well as bring myself back up from where I was which was not a good place at all.

But I'm back and ready to try again.

I will tell you what happened when I'm ready and when we decide to tell anyone because I really don't know if anyone from my life reads this.


So anyways! HI! How are you all? I'm back for BEDA again so I can get into the swing of blogging again. I actually wasn't going to do it but at the last minute after careful consideration, I changed my my mind.

Also, I've decided I'm just going just put our first names on her anymore it gets tiresome to remember type out nicknames.

                              Lily was having fun with her monkey and Elizabeth's carseat

                                                  Lily dressing up and playing

                                                     Elizabeth's first ponytail

                     A week after she learned to crawl she was trying to pull herself up on things

                                          Which she learned a couple weeks later

I have more pictures but I don't want it to be picture heavy so I'll post them tomorrow.

Have a wonderful day!

Jamie

Talkative Random and a Smidgen of Self Pity

So spring has hit {if you ignore the snow we've been getting anyway} and with spring comes the spring cleaning bug. So I had put off laundry for a few weeks. Yeah I know I'm horrible I got hit with a funk and I didn't even post on here. So, anyways, I got all the laundry done in two days and as I was folding my pile of clothes {and of course I had to be on the last pile when I think of it} I decide to purge clothes I don't fit into anymore or even appropriate at my age and station in life. So I purged; and purged; and kept on purging until I realized... I had almost no clothes left. I had filled 4 garbage bags full of just my clothes to donate. I haven't even gotten to the maternity clothes yet either to get rid of the smaller items and give to a friend of mine that's next. I was shocked I went from 5 drawers of shirts to a little less than one and there are three sweaters still in that drawer so I think it's now only 4 shirts I have that fit me nicely and aren't too small, torn up, or worn down.  I even got rid of all but three of my casual dresses and kept one formal dress for Hub's work Christmas parties. I only now have 3 pairs of pants and 3 skirts {however one needs to be repaired.}

It feels nice to know that I have more room but at the same time I realize how much I ignore myself. I have boxes of clothes for Fairy that Princess grew out of and a few things that a friend of mine gave to us because they're done and their youngest outgrew. Princess has a wardrobe for the next size she'll grow into in the winter and I even bought a couple things for the size after that. I also keep up on hub's clothing shopping. Always buying him a new work shirt when I see a stain I can't get out or a tear I can't fix on an old one.  But I hardly buy or even ask for myself. I don't even really think about it. I usually would see an outfit or a shirt and think 'Oh! That's pretty.' Smile and think nothing of it afterward.  I then realized that the last things I bought myself were maternity clothes and a new coat.  I haven't even had my hair cut professionally since January of 2007. Last time I cut it myself I was pregnant with Princess 4 years ago next month.

I think to myself that I should go shopping and get myself some new clothes. I then laugh and go shopping for groceries. $185 later after buying healthy food and snacks {and a couple slurges to try out mmm soy cream like ice cream but with soy} { milk has been making me feel a little sick since I had Fairy so I started drinking soy milk}

The girls and I went shopping yesterday with my mom to our new local Trader Joe's I haven't been to one since we moved out of California when I was a teen. I had a ton of fun and now I remember why we used to go there when I was growing up.

I bought a ton of random things I even bought one of each of their reusable shopping bags. I never buy reusable shopping bags so I'm a little excited about of life changes Hubs is asking us to do. I couldn't be happier.

{Be What you want to be}

Today could have easily been an awful day. I didn't want it to be and it wasn't things happened yet I kept my head above it all and kept pushing forward. I'm actually shocked that it worked and I 

managed to keep a good attitude in the process.

Last night had me following my pattern of sleep lately and I fell asleep around 2:00 this morning. My body kept fighting me to stay asleep but I knew I needed to get up. Oh the joys of parenting LOL.

So, I get up put Princess in the bath and went to check on Fairy.

As I was getting Princess' clothes together after I gave 

Fairy her binky, Princess decided to wash herself with an entire bottle of her wash {brand new by the way.}

Flashing forward about an hour.

I drive the car around front so I can get the carseat in {there's a pole right next to the car where we have to park and it's hard to get it in and out of the car}

So I left it in front of the building and left it running and grabbed the girls, locked the doors, and went to put them in.

However, the car had other ideas.

It locked the doors on us.

I was locked out of both the car and the apartment.

With a toddler and an infant.

In the snow.

Thankfully one of our neighbors came home and he and his dad tried to break into the car.

Didn't work.

So we put the baby into his apartment out of the cold with his dad to watch her.

So we ended up having to call the Sheriff's office and having them come out and help.

The officer tried for 20 minutes to get the car unlocked and finally, FINALLY he got it. I was so happy lol.

I also like knowing how hard it is to break into our car.

Kinda.

So anyway, I get to the store got everything we needed {plus a little extra lol.}

Half way through Fairy started screaming.

Full on screaming her voice hoarse.

Princess was whiny at that point too because it was time for her nap,

which she's been refusing to do lately.

I managed to get the cart unloaded with all this going on.

Then this wonderful woman I have no idea who she was, while I was trying to catch up loading the cart, came over and helped me. 

It was amazing that in the world today someone

took time aside from their life to help someone else.

Not many people do it anymore. 

With that woman's help we got the cart piled high.

I wish I would have gotten a picture of the cart I really wasn't thinking lol.

I ended up having to put the third row of seats down and I did however think of taking a picture of the back full.

Got home and both girls were sleeping lol. 

Got them in and unloaded thr groceries.

Put it all away then I realized 'I'm in pain.'

I have a huge cyst that's now trying to burst.

So, here we find me sitting with my heating pad blogging {obviously} and thinking I should be wanting to beg for today to be over but I really don't mind it.

I'm in a great mood.

Nothing that happened today changed it. It's amazing.

I put the picture at the top because it's true in many forms yet today I wanted to be happy and I still am after everything that was thrown at me.

{Happy New Year}

I would like to wish everyone a wonderful new year! We're actually not home and I haven't gotten a chanve to blog or update anything lately.

This year I'm going to attempt to blog everyday along with my friend over at PickleBeanBooks.

This blog will be mostly how I feel of things. My opinions. My loves. As well as my life. I can only hope you will stick around with me and put up with me and my ramblings lol.

A lot of the posts will be short but some may not be. It will all depend on the day and what is going on. Also, a lot will be about the kids.

Love you all and I pray and hope for a wonderful oncoming year for all of you,
Jamie {Neuriel}

Update

Fairy had the flu last I posted and got through Christmas day with omly a runny nose on Princess' part. However, Christmas night was a completely different story.

Hubs somehow while cooking dinner he pulled a muscle in his back and can't move {including breathing} without pain. Also, on topbof that he got a cold from his dad. So he's been in a loy of pain with how much he's been coughing and sneezing too.

Princess also somehow got the cold too but its not distracting her from playing with her new toys and movies.

Now I just have this mountain of clothing to fold and put away that I washed all in one day yesterday. So not looking forward to that.

{Hate these days}

So the day was going normally. Sent Princess to bed for her nap, got settled to work on the laundry. Next thing I know, Fairy started to projectile vomit and fill her diaper.

I had lost my phone so I had to have Hubs call it from work {thank you Facebook chat}, called the pediatrician who was out to lunch along with everyone else in the office, kept getting shuffled by the operator's and schedulers. Why? I have no idea.

So, as soon as I figure out what's going on I'll let you know.

{Christmas Madness}

Oh man have we been busy.  On sunday we went to my In-Law's and had cookie making day. Princess had so much fun playing with her cousins. Fairy even got to get her hands in the cookie dough for her first cookie day handprints.

However, that night I got a text from our neighbor in our building asking if we've heard water running lately in our apartment. Which we haven't and I told her that. Apparently, the neighbors directly below us had a pocket of water in their ceiling! 

So, they turned off the water to the building and had a plumber come out thankfully we didn't have to drag the girls out into the cold and drive the 20 minutes back to let in the plumber to check out our pipes, and the 20 minutes back to the In-Laws to spend the night {the whole not having water thing.} So, yay that problem got fixed.

House hunting is horrible in this time of year too I've noticed. We've been looking at getting a house closer to Hub's work so it's less money we're spending on gas, because $60 a week is outrageous. Thankfully also, on days he doesn't have to go in early he's been car pooling. It's been fantastic on saving money.

Tomorrow is his company Christmas party and I am kind of excited.  I get to wear my new formal gown I had to buy because I didn't have anything other than my wedding dress and old prom dresses that don't fit. {It's hard to remember those days when I was a size 0 *sigh* lol}

I think I spent about $127 {heart attack!} on my entire outfit {shoes, slip, ect.} and a couple outfits for the girls, along with a couple other things for them. Where as I found a dress I really really wanted to get for about the same price but just the dress.

So far also, the past couple days I've been non stop deep cleaning and getting ready for Christmas.  So deep cleaning where if I didn't know better I'd think I was pregnant and nesting again {which I'm not!} lol. 

Got to go though break time is over and the laundry is ready to get transferred.

{November Favorites}

Hey guys! I thought this would be fun to do.  I've created a list of my fall favorites that we liked.

Me:
TV shows/movies:

• 'Once Upon a Time'
• 'Elementary'
• 'Dr. Who'
• 'Sherlock'
• 'Supernatural'

Beauty:

• Dancing Waters Triple Moisture Shower Cream from Bath and Body Works

Food/Drink:

• Tea, tea, and more tea {I've mostly been drinking Peppermint because I was sick though}
• Strawberry Poptarts {frosted of course} have been our {mine and Hubs} favorite snack and have been eating them like crazy

Random Items:

• blow dryer {Oh my goodness has it been my best friend this past month because I can't stop Princess from coloring on the walls with crayon}
• The Mei Tai baby carrier {Fairy LOVES to be in it and I love to be able to do things hands free.  I even too her shopping with me on black friday in it. Thankfully it wasn't crazy here at all.}

Clothes:

• my hat thing that Princess was wearing in Wordless Wednesday
• My new eternity scarf

Princess {toddler}:
TV shows/Movies:

• John Wayne movies are her favorite ones ever
• 'Baby Einsteins' 
• Oddly enough she loves to watch 'Sherlock' too.
• "Friends'

Beauty:

• any form of chapstick

Food/Drink:

• Those Beech Nut Purees to go pouches {she refuses to eat any form of veggies but with these I can give her the ones with the veggies in it and she'll eat it. Score for Mommy!}
• Peppermint water! {This helped so so much with her upset stomach. You get some candy canes or peppermint candy crush them up and put them in a cup of hot water and stir it until it's melted and give it to them to drink. Our old Ped. told us about it when Princess was a couple months old before he retired. I love the old school Dr.'s}

Toys:

• A Marie from 'The Aristocats' stuffed animal

Fairy {newborn}:

Diapering:

• Pamper's diapers have been amazing with her {with Princess it was Huggies instead}

Soothing:

• MAM binkies! {she can't get enough of them}
• Advent binkies {only if she can't get a MAM}
• Her Graco bouncy seat {it doesn't work so we have to manually bounce it but hey at least we get a work out from it}
• Her blanket she got from Primary Children's Hospital

Bedtime:

• Swaddleme's
• swaddling blankets
• Carter's footy sleepers

Wordless Wednesday